A Novel Affair [book blog]

My not-so-secret affair with romance novels

My Ideal Book Boyfriend – E.M. Tippetts

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I’ve never been one for the princess in a tower and guy looking on from afar dynamic. My guys know the women they love, and that’s why they love them. Many of my couples start out as friends, or at least “friends,” going through that period of pre-romance when they socialize and get to know one another.
All of my women are strong in one way or another, though not all fit the mold of being opinionated and intransigent. One is calm and unflappable, and thus has people dump on her all the time. One’s mouthy and immature and thus wrong for most of the book. One’s emotionally damaged and over-cautious and demands that guys and the emotions they evoke stay at a distance. But however the strength manifests, the guy cannot be afraid of it. He can be respectful of it. He can be unsure of how to deal with it, but he cannot feel threatened by it. For me, that’s an instant turn off.
I don’t mean well-intended condescension. I just wrote a book about a schizophrenic who decides to break up with his girlfriend for her own good, which is definitely condescending in its own way. What I’m referring to in this point is that obnoxious air of indulgence. The guy who sees a woman as a child and therefore “cute” or “amusing.” That is, in my opinion, the most unattractive quality a guy can have.
He doesn’t have to cry all the time or anything like that, but he needs to show that he has feelings and be mature enough to accept vulnerability, rather than play games to hide it, or get violent. Speaking of which:
Do I think every man who’s ever lost his temper and hit the woman he loves is irredeemably evil? No, but I do think he has a problem that needs to be addressed, dealt with, and resolved PRONTO. I’ve been very disturbed in a lot of “romance” books that I’ve read where the men physically manhandle the women. One example that comes to mind had a man grasp a woman by the arms so tightly that he bruised her. I confess, I’m a stickler on this one. Women who find this attractive need to stop finding this attractive. Really. Seriously. And to be fair, I don’t approve of women hitting men either, and am also disturbed at how some books portray them shoving guys, throwing heavy objects at them, and slapping them. Not cool, people. Okay, I’ll get off the soapbox now.
Which doesn’t necessarily mean he needs to have a six-pack (though hey it doesn’t hurt), or perfect genes. Rather, he needs to show that he takes care of himself. He needs an awareness of fashion, even if that awareness is that he has no sense of fashion and thus gets help. He needs to hold himself to the same standard he holds women to, because I think there’s a secret here worth knowing. It almost doesn’t matter what shape, size, or color a guy is. Attractiveness in a guy comes from him accepting himself, being the best self he can be, and demonstrating to his partner she deserves only the best.
Which is just me, I know. I’ve got two sons of my own who are in intense cuddle training. I hug them every chance I get while they’re still little and not (too) embarrassed by me. You know, I’m doing it for the greater good, and the partners they’ll eventually have. Totally selfless motives here.


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“A fast-paced blend of high-stakes drama and average teenage concerns (sex, appearance, friends), capped with a welcome message of hope.” – Kirkus Review of Castles on the Sand

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To enter to win a signed copy of CASTLES ON THE SAND, just click on the book cover!


45 comments on “My Ideal Book Boyfriend – E.M. Tippetts

  1. Kate Bishop
    May 3, 2013

    Great fun to read! I’m a sucker for a quality romance, and the ego-driven powerhouse has never done it for me. My leading man must be thoughtful (in the giving and intellectual sense), independent, self-assured enough to be slightly goofy, passionate about life and love and slightly mysterious. The mystery allows space for the reader (me) to make him uniquely mine.

    Looking forward to reading your book!

    Kate Bishop

  2. Brandy Myers
    May 3, 2013

    Sounds about right!

  3. Kristi Celebrezze
    May 3, 2013

    Thank you for the giveaway, I can’t wait to read!

  4. nadiahassan158
    May 3, 2013

    I love your books! And I can’t wait I read this one. To me my ideal book boyfriend and real life boyfriend NEED to have humor, they need to be able to see the joy in life, and my ideal man need to be a physical contact person, I don’t mean naughty touching even though that’s great. I’m talking about cuddles, hugs, cheeck and forehead kisses, naps together etc. thank you so much for this giveaway, is it international?

    • Hi Nadia! Yes, it certainly is. I’m happy to send a signed copy anywhere (that has postal service.;-) Thanks for the kind words; it’s nice to “see” you here!

  5. tabbiecat23
    May 4, 2013

    A great Book boyfriend to me needs to be emotionally open and willing to give his girl the world 🙂

  6. P.J. Evans
    May 4, 2013

    This post has had me thinking.. I’m quick to say I appreciate a bad boy or the cute, quirky guy next door with the great smile. But beyond that, I don’t really have a firm set of personal traits that make up my ideal book boyfriend.
    When I’m reading, I pretty much think, “this guy is great, where can I get one just like him?” & that’s that. Now I want to make a list.. but let me dwell on it a bit more & I’ll comment again 😉

    • I know exactly what you mean. When I started writing romance, I spent a lot of time thinking, why do I like that one and not that one?

  7. liezel
    May 4, 2013

    Such a pretty cover, can’t wait to read this one.

  8. Jennifer Leary
    May 4, 2013

    A great book boyfriend is sweet, sensitive, and passionate.

  9. Mara Atienza
    May 4, 2013

    An ideal boyfriend is the one who loves you because of you. The one who understands you, believes in you, inspires you and has faith in you. The one who knows when to speak or keep quite and just hold you and listen to you when you’re down and needed someone to be there. The one you can call your own, your bestfriend and the one who makes you feel complete.

    • P.J. Evans
      May 4, 2013

      Wow, Mara.. That’s so beautiful – you made me tear up a bit! Thank you for commenting!

      • Mara Atienza
        May 5, 2013

        Aww.. Thanks P.J! Actually,I’m describing my boyfriend :))

    • Yeah, I’ve yet to see a more comprehensive list than that. Awesome! Thanks for commenting.

      • Mara Atienza
        May 5, 2013

        Thanks, Emily! Im crossing my fingers for this book. I would love to have a signed copy 🙂

  10. sarah vesper
    May 5, 2013

    A book boyfriend should be trusting and easy to love. Of course he has to be ridiculously good looking but has to come across real and someone you could fall in love with in real life

    • See, I was wondering how much real life mattered. Some of the top leading men in romance are people I’d never sit next to, let alone date.

  11. That’s a really good list, Emily. I will add holding hands and paying attention to details; his gift giving is meaningful and not over the top (he remembers what she likes); he’s a good friend and has nice manners, but he’s not perfect- he’ll still stay some dumb things at the wrong time, but he’ll admit he was wrong. 😉

  12. oldvictorianquill
    May 5, 2013

    Such a beautiful list! I have a motto that I use to describe my book boyfriends. They are like Hot Chocolate with Bailey’s. They are warm, comforting and loving, and will go the extra mile for you, but have a kick of bad-boy that just consumes you 🙂 x

  13. Bobbe Cummins
    May 6, 2013

    Never lies.

  14. Tiffany Trumm Jorgenson
    May 6, 2013

    I love strong men who take good care of the women they love and don’t make any apologies for doing so. Such a turn on!

  15. caiseyquinn
    May 8, 2013

    I love this! Maybe I should’ve made a list like this before I got married….hmm… 😉

  16. Myra Espino
    May 9, 2013

    My book boyfriend must be:
    -fun to be with
    -and most of all, LOYAL! =)

  17. Becca
    May 9, 2013

    When it come to book boyfriends, I take the fictional angle instead of the realistic one. Usually the book ideal is the COMPLETE opposite of the real ideal for me. For example, I love Julian from the Forbidden Game series by LJ Smith. And I love Damon from the Vampire Diaries. Usually I like them dangerous, sexy, and obsessed. Although, I really liked Cade from Faking It by Cora Carmack. Unlike my other book boyfriends, he’s actually pretty much the perfect boyfriend in real and fictional life. He’s the guy you would want your parents to meet. The “nice guy.”

    Shhh don’t tell my husband about my book boyfriends!

  18. I think this is the norm, us crushing on people who’d be disastrous in real life. That’s part of the appeal, not having to actually live it and just be able to fantasize!

  19. Ashley P
    May 9, 2013

    A good book boyfriend is sweet, loyal, and I really like the protective ones too 😉

  20. Tina V.
    May 10, 2013

    A good book boyfriend is sweet, good sense of humor and is loyal

  21. Amy Woolard
    May 10, 2013

    There are several things that make a great book boyfriend lol. Being sexy is a must, beautiful eyes, his protectiveness, etc.

  22. Thanks so much, everyone who entered and everyone who posted. I’ve got a great list of traits now!

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This entry was posted on May 3, 2013 by in Giveaway, Guest Post.

about.me // PJE

Aloha! I'm PJ, the girl behind A Novel Affair [book blog].

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